Jason and Christie's Branch of the Family Tree

This is our sweet Jack. He was placed in our home on May 8 from the hospital. We quickly fell in love with him and voiced our desire to keep him in our family forever. We were told repeatedly that there were no family members to take him, that his mom would be giving up rights because she had no other options and that we were in place to be able to adopt him. Plans were formed quickly for his life, our future together. Our days were spent cuddling and tending to him and our nights were spend feeding and snuggling him close to us. After Independence Day, we were given the most shocking news of our lives....they had found a family member that wanted him and would be taking him to that family member in the next week or so. A week dragged on and turned into almost four weeks. Each day that passed gave us a little more false hope that the new placement had fallen through. On July 27, I received a call telling us that everything had been approved and he would be leaving soon, but CPS was unsure of exactly when. I was assured that no one would just show up to take him nor would they just give me one hour's notice. I left the house at 9am on Thursday, July 30 to go to the dentist's office for a root canal. When I returned home, Jason was sitting on the couch looking more devastated than I'd ever seen him. He informed me that they'd picked Jack up while I was gone and that if I wanted to see him, then I could go to the CPS office before they transported him to his new family. I did go up and I held him for the last time in the stale offices that people who don't know how to be parents get to visit their children weekly. Jack slept the whole time and when it was time to hand him over for the last time, I wasn't sure how I could do it. I handed him to the caseworker and carried his box of clothes and things into the office for the last time. It would be the last time I ever held his sweet, little body in my arms while he slept or even looked into his big, brown eyes. There is an emptiness inside of me that I am not sure what can fill. Each day that passes finds me wondering how he is, how big he is, if he is being cared for the way we cared for him, what his life will be like. I have been told to move on and what is meant to be will be, but I know exactly what this is: an attack by the enemy on our life. He won't win, we will prevail. Plus, we have been given the greatest gift...we were able to love a baby unconditionally and ensure his growth and development for the most important period in his life. And we won't easily forget the blessing we were chosen to receive during the three months that we were Jack's parents.